Mercury in Cancer: Change the Story of Your Life

I remember my high school years in Russia. One September, on the back-to-school day, I went to the school library to pick up my set of textbooks. They were provided to students every year for free, to be returned at the end of the year.

The set was missing a history textbook, which I pointed out to the librarian. She peered at me through her glasses (a librarian to the core!) “They are rewriting them in Moscow,” she said. “You will get one in a couple of months”. It was the first year of glasnost and perestroika (dating myself now 😊)

A wide-eyed teenager that I was, I walked out shaking my head. “How can they be rewriting history? It either happened, or it didn’t happen!”.  As an adult, I know that while facts remain facts, our interpretation of them that can change – by a wide margin, in some cases! It depends on the political or the societal view of the day, among other things.

And, if we can “rewrite history”, we most certainly can rewrite our life story if it’s holding us back! It’s all a matter of perspective.

Finding a New Perspective through Your Astrological Chart

We are born with so many energies (and narratives) available to us – they can be seen through our natal chart. Sadly, we often get “locked” into one particular energy, and it starts defining the story we tell ourselves about our life. It's like we got on a train taking us to a bad destination, and we don't know how to get off. 

But, we’re all complex and beautiful human beings, with the ability to tap into other energies available to us and to redefine our story - which in turn redefines our future.

You may be locked into a challenging Neptune energy in your chart, making you too much of a giver. “Love means sacrifice” – this script might be playing in your mind, and before you know it, you’ve sacrificed your needs for those of your partner.  All the while, there is resentment slowly building in you. You are unhappy.

One day, out of the blue, your partner walks out because he (or she) met someone else. “How can that be??” you silently cry to yourself. “I’ve given you EVERYTHING!!!” Well...another classic Neptune energy of becoming a victim has now played out.

Two years later, you are in another relationship…yet again giving too much...

But, there is also a Mercury-Mars trine in your chart, making you perfectly capable of expressing your needs and your point of view with conviction. What if you tapped into that energy? How would it change your life?  

A Personal Story:  Redefining my Saturn

(Trigger alert: This post mentions pregnancy loss).

It took me 17 years to become a mother.  There were several surgeries, 10 IVFs (yes you read this correctly, 10!!!). And the saddest part of all, there were 4 babies lost early in the pregnancy, followed by our stillborn son. 

It was an exhausting and heart-breaking journey.  And for the longest time, the voice of the challenging, critical Sun-Saturn square in my natal chart was playing in my head. 

"My body failed me. I’ve cost my husband and I tens of thousands of dollars in IVF treatments. How could I have failed at having a child – something that comes so easily to everyone else?"

Then, one day, I was having lunch with a group of people who were taking the same coaching certification as I.  We were all training to be coaches, so there was a lot of sharing happening at the table.  My daughter was born by then, and I shared my story with them.

"Wow, you must have really wanted to become a Mom!", said a kind HR lady who was taking the certification to help her clients.

I thought about that for a moment. (And I need to delete this post before my daughter gets much older, because of what I'm about to say).

"Actually, no", I said. "Now that my daughter is here, she means the world to me. And I realize that I love being a Mom.  But that came after she was born.  The truth is, my husband is much older than I.  Chances are, he'll be gone before me. And I just can't imagine not having anything left of him on this earth, other than my memories. This child is a tangible expression of our love for one another. It's a great, epic love that survived through many things. I don't want it to disappear with the two of us".

A silence fell over the table.  And then, one of the men said: "I only hope I can find someone who will love me like that".

And just like that, I realized that I was missing the key point!  My story wasn't about years of failure. It was a love story.  A story of love so strong and so enduring that is moves mountains.  If there was ever a child born out of true love, that is my daughter. 

When You Re-Write Your Story, New Possibilities Flow

“My parents didn’t love me enough” becomes “I wonder what kind of inner demons my parents had to deal with.”  Our inner child heals through tapping into the space of compassion.

“I’m such a failure. Everyone else is doing so much better” becomes “Everyone’s path is different, and everyone blossoms in their own time. The experience I gained through these past setbacks sets me up for a bright future”.

“Love means sacrifice” becomes “Two people are both equal partners in a relationship”.

Your world opens up to new possibilities. You’re no longer defined by the “story” you may have inadvertently chosen for yourself. New people and experiences appear as if by magic.

Working with Your Natal Chart to Shift Your Perspective

If you have a hard time shifting your perspective and your life narrative, don't let it haunt your today and tomorrow. Redefine it!  Try working with your natal chart. It's your soul’s map, your life’s blueprint.  You have many energies you can lean into. Listen to their voices and what they are trying to tell you. 

I only wish I realized sooner that I was stuck in the bad manifestation of my Sun-Saturn square. What if I chose to thank it for gifting me with the perseverance I needed?

What if I chose to lean into my heroic Sun-Mars narrative? "Yes, I can do this. I won't give up". 

Or my compassionate Sun-Neptune aspect? "You have a chronic health condition that has made things difficult for you.  Cut yourself some slack. You're fighting it the best you can".

That was a big aha moment for me. Since then, this technique - working with your natal chart to lean into your strengths and gifts - helped so many of my clients. 

Work with your natal chart!  Learn about the energies available to you in this lifetime! You won't regret it. 

If this resonates with you, try this consultation.